Why Bayonetta Is One Of My Favorite Women In Gaming

You know you’re doing the “seduction by lollipop” cliche right when you look like your doing the candy a favor.
Source: Know Your Meme

Ah, screw it. I’m counting this as a Halloween post. I mean, what’s more Halloween than a witch?

So, true to my nature as being infinitely late to the party, I’m just now starting to get into Bayonetta. I picked it up at a reasonable sale price on Steam and I’ll admit openly that I may have had the game wrong all these years. I wrote it off as just ‘Devil May Cry with boobs’ and thought it was just senseless titillation for titillation’s sake. But the more I played it, the more I came to realize that, while it does delve into gratuitousness quite often, it does so in such an over-the-top way as to stop being sexy and start being entertaining on its own merits.

Plus, I’ve come to have genuine affection of the titular Bayonetta herself. I actually feel kind of bad for writing her off as pure fanservice. Because when you actually look at her closely, you come to realize that…

Her exaggerated figure actually makes sense

One of the first things I noticed back when I decided to give Bayonetta a miss was how silly her proportions were. I mean, the first thing most people notice when they see her is that she has legs like stilts propping up a torso that’s just a cup size or two shy from being a Rob Liefeld drawing.

But once you see her interacting with “normal” human beings (normal being subjective in such a strange setting), you realize that she’s not some average, everyday superheroine; she’s a 7 foot tall, supernatural amazon witch bred of two warring factions of magic users and molded to be a perfect fighting engine. Of course her body would be an exaggeration of our own – extreme conditions result in extreme personalities and extreme appearances. Those legs NEED to be that powerful-looking so she doesn’t collapse on herself like a top-heavy Barbie doll.

Plus, she’s not just a pair of legs. Look at her delicate facial features and long, swan-like neck. Everything about her is meant to convey grace and class. And when you consider the main mechanic of the game is to make a long string of unbroken attacks in rapid, flowing succession, those are good qualities to have.

Still, there’s no denying that Bayonetta is still heavily sexualized. But, in her case, that’s actually a good thing because…

She knows she’s sexy… and she LOVES it

A large part of my recent journey through gender transition has been building up a positive body image by appreciating the sensuality of my body. Of course, when you work at a rest stop and have a horde of lonely truckers and construction workers – male, female, and otherwise – reminding you of that sensuality on a weekly basis, you tend to enjoy the attention (even though they should REALLY not be doing that to someone who’s on the clock; that’s just rude).

My point is that I’ve learned that flirting can be fun and can make you feel good when done right. And Bayonetta embodies this idea. A lot of people have criticized her for ‘moving like a stripper’ in game, but she always makes it clear that she does so by her own choice (“As long as there’s music, I’ll keep on dancing”). Besides, what’s wrong with erotic dancing anyway? It’s a perfectly noble art that requires years of training and conditioning to do well. I respect anyone with the physical fortitude and self-confidence to perform stark-naked like that for an audience.

And before any of you bring up her “wicked weave”, yes, the fact that her hair is both her costume and her most powerful weapon does lend itself to fanservice. But screw that; if I had a magical updo, you better believe I’d use it for some new wardrobes (“I can’t help it if I like the little outfits”).

She’s one of the few women that work the “sexuality as a weapon” angle well

Here’s the thing you need to understand about depictions of women in games; for the longest time, there were only two flavors of women.

The first is the cutesy one – small, meek, and gentle. She’s the sort of girl that’s designed to encourage you to want to protect her; i.e., “She just needs a big, strong person around.”

The other is the ice queen – hard, tough, and mostly disinterested in others; ESPECIALLY romantic advances. Whether intentional or not, it reassures the audience that it’s okay to think she’s hot because she doesn’t care anyway.

Both of these are (god, I hate this word…) problematic as one puts the woman on a pedestal and the other outright objectifies her. So how does Bayonetta approach this dilemma?

Bayonetta is not helpless; she can take down entire armies of the most powerful beings in Heaven, Earth, and Hell with ease. But, she’s not cold either; she displays a wide variety of emotions throughout the game and cares a great deal about her own personal enjoyment in particular. This results in a personality that is eager to find pleasure but is skeptical that YOU are the one that can provide it.

Do you get it yet? She’s not a cute princess, nor is she an ice queen; she’s SEXUALLY INTIMIDATING and you, aroused audience member lost in the fantasy, need to cope with that.

The Free the Nipple Movement: Good Idea With a Long Road Ahead

Does anyone else feel like they might be missing something?
Source: Instagram: caradelevingne

It’s been far to long since I had a discourse on a social issue, so let’s talk about something I’ve known about that I’ve been meaning to get to for a while.

For those out of the loop, Free the Nipple is a gender equality movement that seeks to eliminate an inequality between men and women that most people over look; the fact that men are allowed to go topless while women can be charged with indecent exposure.

Full disclosure; I never got that even as a kid. Why do women have to stay covered up when men don’t. I mean, barring size, shape, and the amount of hair, male and female boobs are exactly the same. Hell, men are even capable of lactating under the right circumstances.

Which brings me to the issue of public breast feeding. Here’s the deal, babies have no concept of “there’s a time and a place for everything.” A baby simply does as it needs to do when it needs to. It eats, sleeps, and poops at the whims of nature. As such, poor mom isn’t always in a position to find a way to hide herself to take care of junior. And before you suggest bottle feeding, there are already several lists about why store-bought formula is crap compared to breastfeeding for baby and mother alike.

So, yeah – women should be allowed to release the ta-tas without fear of legal ramifications, judgmental stares from conservative women, and drooling men who can’t keep it in their pants.

The problem is that the actual process of getting to that point will be slow and painful.

Let’s be realistic; social evolution, like Darwinian evolution, is slow as January molasses. People have been living with preconceived ideas and notions for generations and don’t take kindly towards people rocking the boat. It takes a great deal of time for new ideas to take hold when they have to contend with history – in this case, the history of the exposure of breasts being a dividing mark of class throughout much of western history.

Also, there are some difficulties in getting people to jump on the bandwagon. I’ve spoken to many women who can’t see themselves without a top to provide some support (I honestly can’t imagine how difficult it must be to carry a pair of chest-mounted 5-pound weights). People like that might not be so keen on the idea and may not stop to think about others for whom that isn’t as much of an issue. After all, nobody’s FORCING anyone to go topless; it’s just an option to consider.

There’s also the issue that most social movements suffer from, people who use movements like this as a platform for showboating and gloating about their moral superiority. These people always hurt well-meaning movements by making everyone else in the group look like self-important butt holes.

I guess what I’m trying to get at here is that Free the Nipple is a worthwhile endeavor and that those who have never heard heard of it until now or rejected it originally should consider or re-consider supporting it. As for those already on board, don’t lose faith; keep sticking with it. You’ve already made great progress.